Good Cop, Bad Cop

I've decided to start posting my failures. Well, the pieces that I had on revenue-sharing freelance writers sites that couldn't quite cut it. But I consider them good pieces. This one I rather like.

 

Introductions

Well, over there to the right is a picture of the guy who played Serpico in the TV series, not Al Pacino who played him in the movie. Really, it's irrelevant, because I'm not talkin' 'bout a good cop bringin' down the bad cops; I'm talkin' 'bout that old game: Good cop, Bad cop. I'm sure you're familiar with it: One guy's harsh and abusive and the other one's the good one, keepin' it down; it's all an effort to sway you in some way, get you all flustered to comply. So, I'm here to tell you there's variations on that theme; I'm fixin' to let you know about Good Cop, Bad Cop; Good Cop, Good Cop; and Bad Cop, Bad Cop. Here goes, 'migo.

Good Cop, Bad Cop

This is pretty standard. You know, one's aggressive and intimidating, the other one's trynna keep it cool, reassuring you even. This one's happened to me at least a couple times in real life. Once on a job. Typical of the job, both my bosses were terribly under-qualified in the brains departments. One of them was real stern, talkin' 'bout how I need to step it up, step to the plate more, blah-blah, blah-zay blah-zay, lah-dee-dah-dee; and the other one kept leavin' the room politely like, "Oh, sorry Nater, be right back." Then he'd come back and switch it too, stare at me silently when I talked, then turn to his partner, then look back at me, overly serious like somethin' I said wasn't quite right. Why they needed two people for little ol' me, I don't know. Blah-zay, blah-zay.

Then the other time, more recent, we had the bug fumigators over here at the apartments. Again, for some reason needed to be two people to talk to me(why are they scared?); the two resident managers, they're a couple, come to my door, tell me how I got to get everything out of the closets, out of the cupboards, into the middle of the floor, out of the drawers; and we had to have it done a week ahead of time. So, wer gon to have to spend days and weeks laborin' and stressin' and living in a pile of silverware and bottle caps, until bug man comes to blast the roaches. Well, one of them then says, all serious as a whipper snapper can get, that they gonna have to give us a three day notice if we don't get it all done before time. Of course my instinct is to knock the young buck over backwards to his crusty grandma's denture pan. I refrain. Plus, I digress. Then his girlfriend says, all nice and pretty-like, "Oh, but that's just so you get it done!"

Well, all I can say is Good Cop, Bad Cop don't work. That flip tickles me. Don't worry none.

 

Good Cop, Good Cop

Okay, so you know somethin's wrong. You don't know them, but they're both aggressively nice. Plus, they want to know all about you, and nobody ever wants to know all about you. They are checkin' you out, for sure. This is typically a couple of connivin' coworkers, teaming up to figure out the new guy. Soon, you will see the sweetness get spoiled and you're in for days, weeks, years of harassment and abuse. Beware, the Good Cop, Good Cop.

 

Bad Cop, Bad Cop

Well, clearly this is the worst of them all. And I've experienced this version from real life, actual cops. These are the ones that keep accusing you of things, stopped you for no reason, abusing you, and smirking at each other about it, because evidently it's fun and entertaining. Of course, they do more than that at other times and once in awhile it gets some news headlines. They are quite the team. If at all possible, avoid them like the plaque.

What's My Point?

The point is, watch out for these. I've seen 'em and so will you. Or maybe you have, so then you know exactly what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Be safe out there.

Anarchy Works